Everything To Me
by Regularamanda
Summary: What happened if Sam had been with Jack during 'Abyss? Sam/Jack
1. Against Her Will

_Author's Note- After finish writing 'For My Beloved' I knew I had to do this, so here it is_

**Against Her Will**

Major Samantha Carter was the only other member of SG-1 remaining on the Tok'ra base. Colonel Jack O'Neill had been struck with a virus and the only way to save him had been to get implanted with a Tok'ra symbiote. Sam had decided to stay on the Tok'ra base for a bit to help Jack get through the first few days of implantation. Kanan, the symbiote had saved him and after a suitable host was found, the Colonel should be back to his old self. He had handled the whole thing remarkably well considering his aversion to anything being inside of his head. Which meant that it was her time to go back to the SGC and to leave Jack alone. Hopefully this whole thing would be over soon.

"Is it time for you to leave Carter?" Jack asked from behind her

She spun around, startled for a second, because she hadn't expected him to follow her. "Yes sir." She said disappointment evident in her voice. She really didn't want to leave this man here. Sam swallowed and said "I'm happy that Kanan was able to heal you without any problems sir. I was afraid…" Tears were starting to form in her eyes.

"I know." Jack said.

Sam nodded her head, this is what they always did skirt around the issue, never truly saying what they wanted to out loud. Sam couldn't take it anymore and turned back to pick up her Jacket and vest.

Suddenly a strong arm wraps around her waist and crushes her against him as his other arm goes to her face to cover her mouth. She tries to struggle but he's too strong for her.

"Be still." The deep voice tells her and she knows that it isn't Jack's voice speaking. "If you call for help I will be forced to restrain you." He said his hand falling away from her mouth but his other arm remained firmly around her waist.

"What are you doing?" She whispered.

"I need your assistance."

"Your crazy if you think I'm going to help you." She spat out.

"You will help me Samantha, I do not wish to hurt my host but if you do not cooperate I will hurt him."

Sam sighed, she knew he could do it. "What do you need my help with?" She asked as he released her.

"You are a trained fighter are you not?" He asked her.

"Yes." Sam admitted, it wasn't like it was a secret.

"The woman I love, Shayla, is one of Ba'al's slaves. I need your help rescuing her."

Sam felt a pang hearing him talk about a woman he loved, but it wasn't Jack who said that she reminded herself. "Where is she at?" Sam asked skeptically.

"Ba'al's fortress."

"Okay then you know how hard it will be to break in there." She reminded him.

"I am aware but my host is trained in stealth. Since she is one of Ba'als most trusted slaves it should not be hard to locate her. And you are skilled in combat as well. I think we can succeed."

Sam knew it was a lousy plan but she didn't say anything. "And how do you expect us to sneak out of here?" she asked as he motioned her to pick up her gear.

"That is the easy part. If anyone asks I will just say that I am escorting you to the stargate."

"And weapons?" Sam asked knowing she only had her Zat with her.

"The zats will have to do, and I know you have your C-4 if it is needed."

Yes this was not a good plan at all Sam thought.

"Come with me and act like everything is fine, you know what will happen if you do not cooperate." Kanan said as he put his arm on her elbow, leading her out of the room.

They were nearly to the ring transport when they ran into a Tok'ra that Sam didn't recognize.

"Ah Colonel O'Neill I see you are taking our guest to the surface, The Tok'ra will want to debrief you sometime soon." The tok'ra said bowing his head at him.

"Yes I'll be sure to be there." Kanan said smiling at the woman.

Sam felt a chill go through her, that was Jack's voice but it wasn't him. It was also his grin, the very grin he used when he tried to charm her, but it wasn't him. Sam was starting to understand how her friends had felt four years ago when she had been host to a Tok'ra.

The woman smiled and left.

They made it to the surface and Sam briefly thought about trying to run away from him but she knew she could never out run him and she knew he would hurt Jack if she did.

"This will succeed." Kanan said to himself as he dialed the gate.

Sam was pretty sure that even Kanan wasn't totally believing that statement.

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_Author's note- More to come soon! Thanks for reading, let me know if you liked it!_


	2. Going Back For Her

**Going Back For Her**

Sam was surprised when she stepped through the gate with Kanan. She had assumed that there would be Jaffa guarding the gate but their were none. "No guards?" She questioned him.

"It is night and this is Ba'al's fortress, who would dare to come here?" The deep voice shot back. "We must hurry." Kanan said as he grabbed her by her arm and pulled her towards the woods. They ran swiftly and quietly through the forest.

The sooner they got this woman and left the happier it would make Sam.

Miraculously, Kanan and Sam were able to make their way inside without running into Jaffa.

"Her quarters are this way." Kanan said nodding his head towards the left as they reached an intersection of the halls.

Soon though they heard Jaffa coming and Kanan grabbed her and shoved her roughly into a very small room, where they were very close to each other. Sam gulped, normally she would have liked being this close to Jack, but this wasn't him and if it was it would so violate the regulations.

"They are gone." He whispered into her hair.

"Let's get her and get out here." Sam said.

Kanan nodded his head and they left. He stopped suddenly outside a room with a curtain covering the doorway, and whispered "Shayla."

A pretty blonde with wide eyes came to the curtain and slowly pulled it back. "I do not know you." She said softly.

"Let us in Shayla." Kanan said softly. She ushered them in uncertainly and Kanan went right towards her. "It is I, Kanan, I have come back for you." He said taking her hands in his.

"You do not look like him." She said searching his face.

"I am him Shayla, you must believe me."

Shayla searched his eyes for a few more moments. "It is you." She whispered her voice filled with emotion.

Kanan's arms were around her in a second and he kissed her lips softly.

Sam was very uncomfortable. It was very odd having the man you love kissing another woman, even if he wasn't himself. She also felt quite sad knowing that her and Jack could never express their love in this manner.

"We really need to be going." Sam said softly.

"You are right Samantha." Kanan said as he grasped Shayla's hand in his own and pulled her along with him.

"He will know if I leave." Shayla said softly. "He is to come back for me very soon."

"The sooner we get you out the better" Kanan said leading them back the way they came.

Kanan looked over at Sam and said "Are you not curious as to what made me come back?"

"You love her." Sam said simply.

"I do." He agreed smiling at Shayla. "But my host loves you very much and that love was what convinced me that I needed to come back for her." He said his attention focused on Sam once again.

Sam knew that he was lying; Kanan was just trying to make excuses for kidnapping her.

"You do not believe me?" Kanan asked.

"No I don't" Sam said honestly.

"He…" his voice trailed off when two Jaffa came out of a room and saw them.

Sam quickly Zatted them with the zat that had been in her hand.

"We must move now!" Kanan said as all three of them started running.

An alarm was sounded and they knew they had very little time to get out.

They made it out of the fortress but they could hear the Jaffa that were following them swiftly through the forest. There was no way they were going to make it to the stargate now. Sam knew that they were going to be captured and cursed Kanan for dragging her into this.

Kanan tripped and as he got back up onto his knees, he gagged and out came the symbiote as Shayla and Sam watched in horror.

"Oh for crying out loud!" Jack said groaning.

Sam sighed with relief, Jack was back.

"Kree!" A voice and the sound of a staff weapon charging caught their attention.

And they were all about to be captured.

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_Author's note-Thanks for reading and let me know if you liked it! Also if it seems odd that they were able to gate to the planet without there being Jaffa at the gate, if you watch the beginning of 'Abyss' the Jaffa are chasing them to the stargate, so I went with the thought that somehow on the way out an alarm was sounded which gave away where they were. And this should be a six chapter story. _


	3. His Fault

_Author's Note- I'm thinking that this Chapter should have a rating at a little bit above T for violence, so it is rated T but the violence is a bit more intense, just as a warning._

**His Fault**

"Who are you?" One of the many Jaffa who were surrounding them asked.

"Well I'm Han Solo, this here is Leia and to be honest I'm not really sure who she is." Jack said indicating Sheyla.

Sam smirked, yeah Jack O'Neill was back.

The Jaffa who had spoken glanced at Sam and said "You are of the Tau'ri, Ba'al will be most pleased." The other Jaffa each grabbed one of them and started dragging them back to the woods.

Sam realized that because of the darkness, the Jaffa had not noticed the symbiote Kanan lying on the ground and without a host he would die. Sam sighed, as much as she was mad at him for kidnapping her, she had to admire his courage to come back to get the woman he loved.

The Jaffa dragged them back to the fortress and threw Shayla roughly in a cell and continued down the hall and put Jack and Sam both in the same cell. Sam was very much relieved, if they were to get punished for trying to rescue Shayla, she felt safer with him by her side.

Sam wondered briefly about what would keep them confined when the Jaffa pushed a button and they were slammed against the wall. The gravity in this room seemed to be changed she thought briefly. Sam though had other things to occupy her mind at the moment, like the awkward silence growing between her and the Colonel.

Jack spoke first "Carter I'm sorry, I had no idea he was going to do that. One minute I was talking to you and the next minute I was screaming in my head for him to stop." Jack said as he went to her side to inspect her. "You okay? Your not hurt right?"

"I'm fine sir and it's okay. I know you had no control over it."

Jack looked her in the eyes and nodded. He was relieved that she understood but that didn't take his guilt away from them being in this situation. It was his love for Sam that Kanan has seen, and had made him go back for Shayla. But there was no way he could tell her that.

A less awkward silence stretched before them and each of them were lost in their own thoughts when the Jaffa came back. Each Jaffa took one of them by the arm and dragged them off. To where they didn't know.

They were lead to a room where a man was waiting for them. He probably would have been considered handsome except for the evil vibe that he radiated.

"Ah so who do we have here?" The deep voice said. "A Tau'ri and a Tok'ra now what am I to do with you?" He walked purposely towards them, and evil smile on his face, his eyes trained on Sam. Jack's shoulders stiffened at the way he was looking at his second in command. "You're a very lovely woman I think you'll be the first I use to get the information I want." The Gould said fingering her short blonde locks of her hair.

"Oh I don't think so, I'll be the first." Jack said speaking up.

The Goa'uld ignored him and the Jaffa that was holding her arm brought her over to a piece of wall that looked much like a web. A button was pushed and just like as in the cell, though Sam was upright, it seemed as though she was laying on a floor.

"What is your name?"

"Major Samantha Carter." She said wondering why he would want to know that.

"And what is your purpose here?"

Sam remained silent.

"I am your God Ba'al you will answer me." He said as he picked up a six inch long knife from a table, Jack was getting angry now, if he so much hurt a hair on her head…

"I said what is your purpose here? Why was my slave with you?" Ba'al said irritated.

Sam again remained silent.

Ba'al walked closer to Sam, held up the knife and let it go. The knife hit her in the stomach and her scream pierced the room. Jack's blood ran cold. Ba'al repeatedly asked the same questions again, Sam remained silent, and again knifes pierced her flesh. Finally her head turned to the side and she died.

Jack's eyes were filled with tears and his heart was filled with rage. "You son of a…" He said breaking away from the Jaffa and taking a lug at Ba'al. The Jaffa quickly restrained him. "I'll make you pay for this!" Jack whispered, pure hatred evident in his voice, as he struggled against the Jaffa.

"Take her to the sarcophagus." Ba'al said to the other Jaffa.

Ba'al smiled evilly at Jack. "You care for that female. Unless I get what I want you, she will get tortured again and again and revived and you will be forced to watch." Ba'al slowly walked over to Jack and whispered "Why should I harm you when I can more greatly torture you by hurting her." Ba'al chuckled and the Jaffa dragged him back to his cell.

Jack slid down the wall and sat down on the floor, his head in his hands. Jack wanted to puke, or pretend that this had never happened. Sam was dead…for the moment. And she'd keep getting killed till Ba'al got what he wanted.

"Hi Jack." A voice called out to him and Jack looked up to find his dead friend apparently alive and well.

"Daniel." Jack said not really that surprised to see him here. "You know what they did?"

"Yes Jack that's why I'm here."

"You going to get her out of here?" Jack asked skeptically.

"No I can't do that." Daniel said sadly.

"I watched her get tortured Daniel, I watched her DIE. And He'll keep doing that, I need you to stop it!" Jack said getting up angry at his friend. "I don't care about myself just get her out of here please." He begged. "I just saw the woman I love being tortured like that and it's my fault. If I hadn't loved her Kanan wouldn't have come back and that wouldn't have happened to her." Jack said angrily.

"I know Jack but I just can't"

"Can't or Won't?!" Jack said fire in his eyes.

"Jack I need you to make her hold on, they realize your missing now. It's going to be hard to watch but she needs to hold on." Daniel said.

"Daniel I swear to God…" Jack started to say but the guards were back with Sam.

His heart was stuck in his throat. Here she was alive and well again, but only for her to get tortured again…because of him. The guards put her back in the cell and then left. Jack just stared at her for a few moments. And then he grabbed her to him and hugged her for all he was worth. Tears were in his eyes but he held them at bay.

"Sir can I sit for a moment?" Sam whispered.

"Sure and cut the sir Sam." Sam nodded and Jack sat down on the ground and Sam sat next to him. Sam leaned her head on his shoulder and closed her eyes. Jack slowly lifted his hand and ran his finger through her hair, and down her cheek to convince himself that she was real and whole. Sam didn't mind. She needed to make sure she was real too and the feelings that he was causing in her only served to prove that fact.

Jack was relieved that she was well again, but knew that every time she went into the Sarcophagus she would lose a little bit of herself at the same time. And he knew he'd lose a little bit of himself every time he was forced to watch her die.

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_Author's Note- Thanks for reading, if you liked it let me know! The Next chapter should be up within a few days._


	4. The Heart that Beats for Her

_Author's Note- This chapter again should have a slightly higher rating for violence, so you have been warned._

**The Heart That Beats for Her**

The same thing kept happening Jack thought as he sat in their cell, his arm wrapped around Sam as she slept on his shoulder. Ba'al kept asking her the same two questions and she remained silent. And then Ba'al would torture her with acid or knives and she would die. And Jack's heart was slowly being torn to shreds as he watched her, helpless to stop it. And then she would be put in the sarcophagus and the whole thing got repeated again.

He should order her to tell Ba'al what he wanted, but he knew that Ba'al would torture her one last time. She would be gone forever and Jack didn't have the heart to allow that to happen. And then he would do the same thing to Shayla. Sooner or later a decision had to be made, and Sam was already slipping away from him. Jack knew he'd never be the same after this, he'd cease to be the person he was if he lost her.

Two Jaffa came to the cell for another round of torture and Jack gently nudged Sam to wake her up.

The Jaffa each brought them to Ba'al.

Ba'al grinned evilly at them like he always did.

He nodded his head towards the 'web' and the Jaffa that was holding Sam brought her over to it. This time thought the gravity wasn't on and to keep her in place she was cuffed to it.

Ba'al picked up a knife and instead of walking to Sam he walked to Jack and pressed the knife up against his throat.

Turning to Sam he said "Do you love him?"

Sam wasn't sure what Ba'al was up to so she remained silent.

"I said do you love this man?" Ba'al said angrily.

Jack's eyes meet hers begging her not to say a word.

"Yes." She whispered.

Ba'al withdrew his knife, walked over to Sam and put it against her throat. "Do you love her?" He asked Jack.

"Yes." Was his soft response.

"Well we can't have that." Ba'al said as he slit her throat.

Jack shut his eyes tightly, it did no good. He still saw her there, her throat slit.

Neither one had ever spoken that they loved each other, (cared for yes loved no) and now when they finally did it was during some twisted game that Ba'al was playing.

The Jaffa took Sam's body and put it in the sarcophagus, while the other Jaffa put Jack in his cell. This needed to stop soon or Jack was going to lose it. A while later the Jaffa returned with Sam who was alive and well.

Jack stood up as they brought her in, and he sat next to her, shoulder to shoulder, but they weren't touching. With the knowledge that Ba'al had extracted from them, they both now knew how the other one felt, and it was a little bit uncomfortable.

"Kanan was right you know." Jack said suddenly.

"About?" Sam said slightly confused.

"About me loving you." Jack confessed.

"Oh." Sam said looking everywhere but him.

"If you want me to forget what was said back there…" Jack said drifting off.

"God no!" Sam said finding the courage to look him in the eyes. "I just…we're not supposed to be talking about this."

"I know but I need you to know that." Jack's eyes were filled with sorrow.

"I love you Jack." Sam said her eyes filling with tears.

"I love you too Sam." Jack said his voice equally filled with emotion.

Why did this always happen? They were finally able to say what they've felt for years but nothing would come out of it. Soon Sam would lose all that made her who she was., a few more times through that Sarcophagus…No Jack thought to himself, you have her here right now, alive, think about that.

"Your everything to me." Jack said turning to look into her eyes. "I don't want to live without you here…right next to me. I want you with me always" Jack said chocking up. He wasn't good with feelings but his emotions had been to hell and back for the last while and he really didn't give a crap that he didn't normally act like this. This woman was everything to him and he was going to damn well tell her.

Sam threw her arms around his neck and Jack's arms went around her waist hugging her tightly to his chest. Sam's face was in the crook of his neck and he could feel her tears there. After a long while her tears subsided and she rested her head on his chest, falling asleep to the sound of his heart.

The heart that only beats for her Jack thought. It didn't matter if they couldn't have a relationship now, all he needed was her safe and sound by his side for the rest of his years. But that possibility was slowly slipping away. Now he might not have her in his life at all. He'd become cold and a hard person, the kind of person he'd been right after Charlie's death.

Except this time it would be slightly worse because he'd have to watch her die right in front of his eyes. He'd have memories of her deaths in his mind forever. And he'd have the knowledge that if he hadn't loved her, she never would have been here with him. Her death could have been prevented if he would have just never fallen for her. And that's what tore at his heart. That this whole thing was his fault. He never should have started seeing her as a woman, all those years ago. He should have seen her as his 2IC and nothing more.

This scientist though had captured his heart in ways he had never thought possible. That old cliché saying was true, that love was blind. It didn't see ranks and it didn't see regulations. All it saw was this beautiful woman, inside and out, who was one of the best 2IC's he'd ever had, who was affectionate, and so incredibly more smarter then he was. Who had an amazing sense of humor, and who could brighten up his day with just one smile. Her smile was like the sunshine and when she was gone, she'd take the sunshine with her. And he'd be left cold and alone.

And somehow this incredible woman loved him too. This beaten up soldier was somehow loved by this lovely woman. God knew he didn't deserve her, he never would and he never could. And he had so many faults, he was cranky and old, he was a pain in the ass and yet she still loved him.

Jack buried his face in her hair and let the tears fall. Maybe this was some nightmare that he'd wake up from, find that none of this had happened. But he knew that the excruciating pain in his heart was real, nightmares didn't hurt like this.

"Jack." The familiar voice called to him.

Jack squeezed his eyes shut. Not now Daniel, not damn now. Jack lifted his head slowly as not to wake Sam in his arms.

Jack's eyes meet Daniels, and Daniel was startled by the amount of pain written in his eyes. He knew his friend loved Sam, had known for years. But he'd never known that he loved her that much, that kind of love that tore you apart when something happened to the one you loved. This man before him was a broken man, and Daniel have never seen him like this. He had never wanted to see Jack like this. Jack's brown eyes shouted that he would do anything for the precious woman he held in his arms, that he'd give up his own life a thousand times if it meant that Sam would be okay.

"They're close Jack." Daniel whispered. "They have a plan, but you both need to hold on just a little bit longer."

"Daniel, don't make me watch her death again, please." Jack pleaded not even trying to hold back the tears. "I can't take it any longer, this woman that I have in my arms right now is all I care about."

Jack was never this open with his emotions, hated talking about feelings. Daniel thought. And Daniel couldn't begin to imagine the pain in Jack's heart right now, having to watch the woman you love die repeatedly. Daniel had seen his own wife die, and that had nearly killed him. But he'd only seen her die once and Jack was seeing Sam die multiple times.

"Just get her out of here. Leave me but for God Sake's take her." Jack told Daniel.

Daniel swallowed, as much as he wanted to do something he couldn't. "I can't Jack, I want to but I can't. You both need to hold on a little bit longer."

"Daniel.." Jack said

"Just a little bit longer." And with that he was gone.

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_Author's Note- Thanks for reading and if you liked it let me know! The next chapter I hope will be up quicker then this one was._


	5. The Best and Brightest

_Author's Note- Just another warning that this should probably have a slightly higher rating for violence._

**The Best and Brightest**

They stayed wrapped in each others arms for the longest time. Sam slept contently against his chest and she knew that as long as she was here she would be safe. And she knew she'd go through another round of torture because when it was all said and done she would end up right back here, in the man she loved arms. And if she had to go through hell to get to heaven then so be it.

She lifted her head and looked at Jack. Jack's short hair was sticking up all over the place and Sam wouldn't help but smile. She loved his ruffable hair. She lifted her hand up to run her fingers through it when Jack's eyes popped open at her touch.

"You okay?" Jack asked.

"Yes." She said lying. She knew she was starting to feel the effects of the sarcophagus.

"No your not." After so many years of serving together, he knew when she was lying and Sam knew she couldn't hide the truth from him.

The same two Jaffa came and brought them to Ba'al. Sam was again locked up to the web. This inadvertently signaled to Jack that Ba'al wouldn't be using the acid this time. At least her death would be quick this time Jack thought with no relief.

"You're a beautiful woman Samantha." Ba'al said as he walked up to her. Ba'al took her jaw in his hand and moved her head from side to side, admiring her features. He glanced at Jack and asked "Do you love her?"

Jack knew what happened last time he answered that question with a yes so this time he whispered a no. Though a lie flowed from his lips, the truth that he loved her could not be masked from his eyes.

"Well then you won't mind if I do this." Ba'al said as he roughly kissed Sam.

Sam tried to struggle but she was still locked to the web so she couldn't get away from him. Ba'al's hands were on her neck and when he pulled away from the kiss he snapped her neck. Jack's blood boiled at seeing what this man was doing to her, this game he was playing with both of them.

The same thing happened as before, one Jaffa took her to the Sarcophagus while the other put him back in his cell.

Jack couldn't take what this demon was doing to Sam. Ba'al hadn't done anything else but kiss her roughly, but he had killed her again. How many times was Jack going to be able to watch this?

This would be the last time he vowed, this would be the last time that Sam would get revived again. Jack couldn't let Sam go through this anymore, and there was only one way to stop it. One body would be buried but two lives would be lost. Hers...and his.

Since there wasn't much to do, Jack decided to sleep. He didn't want to have to think about the conversation he was going to have with her later. The Jaffa brought her back a short while later.

"Jack" Sam said weakly.

"C'mere." He said.

She was weak so he swept her off her feet and carried her to where they normally sat. She sat on his legs with her arms wrapped around his neck. She needed comfort and it was easier for him to hold her while she was here, rather then just by his side. This may not be appropriate for a CO and his 2IC but these were unusual circumstances and there were no regs in this hell.

They were quiet for a long time before he spoke. "Sam…I think it's time."

"I know" Sam sighed.

"Give Ba'al what he wants, tell him why we came." He whispered.

Sam looked up into his eyes. "He's going to…" She said.

"I know." Anguish was reflected in his deep brown eyes.

"I don't want to leave you." Sam whispered.

Jack swallowed. He didn't want her to leave him either but he couldn't allow her to keep going through this.

"Your not going to be you after all this." She finally realized.

"No I'm not."

"Jack…please. Don't let this ruin you. I need for you to go on after this." She said grabbing his shirt in her hands.

The last of Jack's walls to his heart fell down. The facade that he had put up for years feel away.

And Sam was struck by what she saw in his eyes. Some things didn't need to be put into words. And there weren't any words to describe the pain in his eyes. This man loved her, had loved her for years, and he wouldn't be able to go on without her, she suddenly realized. Sam closed her eyes against the emotions that she saw. She knew how he had been after Charlie's death, knew how it tore him up when someone he loved with all his heart was ripped away from him. And she didn't know how to convince him to still go on living after she died.

Jack's hand found his way into her hair and he gently lifted her face up to meet his eyes again. He slowly dipped his head and kissed her softly. They broke away and he rested his forehead against hers.

"I'm not going to forget you." He whispered to her.

"I know. Jack…promise me you'll still be the pain in the ass that you always are after this?" She begged him.

He didn't say a word.

"Jack God damn it. Promise me."

"Major…I'd do anything for you. But I can't promise you that." He said hoping the Major part would add some authority to what he said.

Sam groaned. "Fine. Don't promise me Colonel. But General Hammond and Teal'c aren't going to let you just throw away your life." She told him.

"I really could give a rat's ass." Jack said bitterly. "Listen Carter without you all this." He said waving his hand around. "Means absolutely nothing to me. I would have been content to have you in my life as a 2IC, but the bottom line is I need you in my life. And without you there, well it's just not much of a life"

Sam knew what he was saying. And she agreed with it, felt the exact same way. But that didn't stop the pain of knowing that his honorable, wonderful man wouldn't be himself because of her.

Sam knew that at the next torture session she'd give Ba'al what he wanted and that would be it. And if this was going to be her last few hours, she really couldn't think of a better place to be then right here. With her arms still wrapped around his neck she burrowed her head in his neck and relished the feeling of being held in his arms.

A few hours later the guards returned for her. There was a difference this time. The Jaffa just held onto her and Ba'al walked up her.

"Are you ready to answer those questions?" Ba'al asked of her.

"Yes." Sam whispered.

Ba'al looked surprised for a moment and then said "Your purpose here?"

"The Tok'ra Symbiote Kanan in his" She said nodding her head towards Jack "body came back to get the slave Shayla."

"And why was she with you?" Ba'al asked as he inspected the knife.

"He came back because he loved her."

"Ah love. Such a trifle human emotion." He said laughing.

"I finally have my answers, now I will allow you to die one last time." He said. And with that he slammed the knife straight through her heart. Sam's form collapsed to the ground, and Jack felt down to the ground next to her, while the Jaffa held his arms back, preventing his escape.

Tears were running down Jack's cheeks but he didn't care. Sam's lips formed the words 'I love you' but she didn't have the energy to say them. And then finally the light died in her lovely blue eyes.

"Prepare her for burial and take him back to the cell." Ba'al said walking away.

The Jaffa dragged back him back to the cell and he collapsed on the ground. He laid there in shock and then reality crashed into him. Samantha Carter was dead. There was no coming back this time. He would never hear her laugh again or hear her speak techno babble. He would never see her smile again, and would never hold her in his arms again. Sam had taken a huge chunk of his heart with her and now all he felt was emptiness. She was dead and nothing mattered to him anymore. The best and brightest part of his life had been taken away and could never be returned.

Jack closed his eyes and let the oblivion of sleep take him.

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_Author's Note- Thanks for reading and if you liked it let me know! Also I had previously said this was a six chapter story, it has been changed to an eight chapter story._


	6. A Cold Shell of a Man

**A Cold Shell of a Man**

Jack O'Neill slowly opened his eyes and blinked several times. He looked around but Sam was no where to be found, but something….someone had waken him.

"Jack." Daniel said as he bent down to Jack.

Jack was vaguely aware that he had only been asleep for a few minutes. And Sam where was she? Suddenly though looking at Daniel, Jack realized exactly what had happened to her. She was dead and she wasn't coming back.

Daniel was taken aback by the look in Jack's eyes. They were cold and hard and spoke of a man who had seen too much death. And Daniel realized Jack had seen too much death but it was the same death repeated over and over. And now it had stopped and Sam was gone. This he thought was what happened to Jack O'Neill when Samantha Carter wasn't apart of his universe.

"What the hell do you want?" Jack spat out at him.

"I'm sorry I couldn't do anything." He said softly.

"Don't give me that bull. And you are the last person that I want to talk to right now."

"She wouldn't want you to be like this." Daniel told him.

"Oh just give it up Daniel this is the man that I have always been. Just with her I was different." He said angrily.

"Do you really think she'd want you to be like this? God Jack if she knew you'd be like this, it would break her apart."

"Well then I guess it's a good thing she's not around." Jack said bitterly. "How do you expect me to act? The woman I love is dead, as in gone forever. And I had to watch her die…many times!!! And all this was caused because I loved her and that made the snake come back for the woman he loved. She'd dead because of me Daniel. How am I supposed to live with that knowledge? It was bad enough with Charlie, but now Sam too."

"Sam never blamed you and you knew that." Daniel told him.

"Yeah but that doesn't stop me from blaming myself."

"Listen they have a plan and there going to put it into action soon. Your going to get out of here."

Jack had been pacing back and forth but with this Jack turned and stood face to face with Daniel.

"I don't _want_ to get out of here. Before with Sam I sure as hell did but not now, not when I don't have her with me. I do not want to have to go back and face General Hammond and Jacob without her there. This hell is what I deserve." Jack spat out.

Daniel looked in Jack's eyes again. Anger was clearly seen in there brown depths, as well as pure agony. This wasn't Jack O'Neill. Jack's heart had died with her, taking what made him the man he was with her. This was an empty shell of a man that had housed one of his best friends. And Daniel knew that if Jack did get out of here, he wouldn't have the will to live. That old saying of dying of a broken heart was true. Jack was had been dying bit by bit watching Sam get killed and being revived. And now he was completely devastated. Without Sam there was nothing to live for, for Jack, Daniel thought. The bad guys were still out there and Jack needed to be out there helping them. There was only one thing to do.

"Jack nothing I can say will help you." Daniel said and then he disappeared.

That would have been the moment where Jack would have rolled his eyes at him…if things were different.

*****

Daniel slowly lifted Sam's body into the sarcophagus. He wasn't human though, no he was still one of those glowy beings. The others weren't interfering and Daniel was aware that they knew how Sam's death would change Jack. The others didn't like interfering with the lower beings but the fate of the galaxy may very well hang in the balance without these two.

*****

Sam woke with a start. She wasn't supposed to be here, as she realized she was in the sarcophagus. That was the last time she was to have died and yet here she was. Ba'al had seemed like the kind that would have honored letting her die.

"Hi Sam." A distinctly familiar voice called out to her. She turned around and saw

Daniel standing there. But he was dead…maybe this was…well Sam wasn't sure where she was now.

"It's alright, I ascended. I'm not really here, but you are. You're alive Sam." Daniel told her softly.

"Daniel? But…how…why…I didn't want this to happen again." She said confused.

"I know. I put you in there this last time." He told her.

"Why?" Sam asked. Daniel was her friend…he wouldn't want her to be tortured again she was sure of it, he must have a pretty damn good excuse for putting her back in here then. Sam scrambled out of the sarcophagus.

"The others saw how Jack had reacted to your death. He was a crushed man. They know you are both important to winning the war against the Goa'uld. And if you are allowed to stay dead here, Jack will give up and will cease to be the man he is. So the others allowed me to do this to you so you'll be able to get out of here together. He loves you more then life itself Sam, he needs you." Daniel told her.

"Alright." She said swallowing. She had known how Jack had felt about her but she had hoped when it was all said and done that he would still be Jack O'Neill. She hadn't known that she had meant that much to him.

"The plan is in action Sam. I may not see you again. The road ahead will be tough, but you of all people can do it." Daniel said and he was gone.

What now? Sam thought. Suddenly she felt the whole complex shake, as if someone was attacking.

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_Author's Note- Yes I couldn't leave Sam dead, I'm not the much into Angst! Thanks for reading, hope you enjoyed, leave me a review and the next chapter will be out in a few days._


	7. Real

**Real**

Jack felt the vibration but he didn't really care who was attacking. None of it mattered right now, and he wished with all his heart that he would just die here, die and he done with it all. All he wanted to do was enter death and hopefully Sam would be there. Her body wouldn't even get a proper burial Jack realized. He didn't want to leave this place. He wanted to stay here and rot like he deserved.

With the attack that had just happened the gravity had been shut off and right now if he choose to, he could walk right out the door. But he didn't, he couldn't. He couldn't go with the knowledge that he had killed her. It might not have been his hands that had plunged the knife into her heart but it had been his love that had sent her here.

"Jack." The beloved voice whispered to him and Jack didn't even register that it was Sam. She was long dead and she wasn't coming back. She was just a hallucination in his head, made up to make him leave this place. Well he sure as hell wasn't going. Not even if the hallucination looked and spoke like her. And for all he knew it could be the space monkey pulling a trick on him somehow. Which was somewhat disturbing.

"Jack, you're all right!" Sam said as she swiftly walked up to him and threw her arms around him.

Jack as much as he wanted to didn't return the hug, she wasn't real after all.

"We need to get out of here." She said.

"You're not real." Jack told her.

"This isn't real for you?" Sam said as she brought his head down to hers and kissed him passionately.

This better not be Daniel doing this Jack thought or he was going to kick his ass so bad it would send him back to ascended land.

Sam broke the kiss first. "Now tell me I'm not real." She whispered breathlessly.

"You're not really here." Jack said easily.

"Well it doesn't matter, your going to get off this planet." She said as she weakly tried to pull his hand. He didn't move an inch.

"Please…Jack. We have to hurry." She pleaded.

"You're dead. And there's no way in hell I'm going to go back." Jack told her defiantly.

"Jack if you don't believe I'm here then at least go back for me. Tell my Dad what happened here, he deserves to know." She said hoping to convince him.

"Nope." He said as he sat down on the ground.

"Listen Jack, Daniel was able to put me into the sarcophagus one last time. I'm here, and I'm okay. But this is our opportunity to get out of here. I know you feel guilty but it's all okay."

"It's not okay." Jack whispered. "I killed you. It was my fault."

"Jack please…we can discuss this later. I'm weak from all the rounds of the sarcophagus, but if you love me at all you'll leave with me right now. I can't get to the gate by myself." She pleaded.

Jack looked at her, looked at her beautiful pleading blue eyes and knew that even if she wasn't real, she was looking at him like that and he knew he'd give her the moon if he could.

"All right." He whispered getting up.

Sam sighed in relief and they left the cell as fast as Sam could walk in her condition.

They went past Shayla's cell and Sam stopped. They couldn't leave her here.

"Please come with us." Sam told her.

"I cannot. Not again." Shayla whispered.

"Oh for crying out loud, just come, quickly." Jack said.

She got up quickly and followed behind them. "Kanan…he is gone?" She asked.

"Yeah." He said as they made their way through the halls.

When they rounded the corner a Jaffa saw them and Jack quickly tackled them and took the zat. At least they had something to defend themselves with.

The fortress was again rocked with another hit, and the three almost lost their footing. The Jaffa were so occupied with the attack that they didn't run into any Jaffa on there way to the stargate.

"Go to the Tok'ra home base." Sam said weakly, the trek had worn her out.

Jack dialed the gate and a wormhole was established.

"Jack…" Sam said concerned. Jack turned to her and caught her as she blacked out.

Suddenly Jack realized that she was real, she was okay and their way home was opened and he'd be damned if he was going to let her go now. Jack scooped her up and him and Shayla stepped through the gate.

Jack wasn't surprised by who he meet at the gate on the other side.

"Jack! Sam!" Jacob Carter said running up them. "What the hell happened?"

"Long story Jacob. But Sam need's help now." Jack said urgently.

Jacob looked with concern at his daughter. "Yes of course, come this way. We'll get in contact with the SGC and let them know that both of you are found." Jacob said knowing that the SGC would be better prepared for them. "And then I want to know what the hell happened and why you're looking at my daughter like that." He said realizing the look of love that was on Jack's face. And that, Jacob noticed, Jack's eyes hadn't left Sam since the moment he had stepped through the gate.

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_Author's Note- This chapter was very short and I apologize but the next chapter should be fairly long! Thanks for reading and let me know if you liked it! One more chapter to go!_


	8. Beginning of Everything

_Author's Note- I'm posting this chapter at 1:00am so there are bound to be spelling errors, I will reread with fresh eyes in the morning, so my apologizes in advance! Enjoy! woop! I do realize there are a lot of mistakes in this chapter...again i wrote this at 1 in the morning...Please take that into concideration.  
_

**Beginning of Everything**

Jack put Sam on the ground and the other Tok'ra that had been with Jacob ran back to the base to get Earth's GDO remote. Jaccob knelt down to check her vitals, and he was relieved when he found a pulse.

"How is she?" Jack asked softly, his eyes still trained on Sam.

"She has a faint pulse but we need to get her back to earth, right now." Jacob said with a sigh. Jacob went to pick her up but Jack stopped him.

"Let me get her…please." Jack said.

Jacob looked at the younger man. He was the one that should carry her, he was after all her father, but when Jack's eyes meet his he nodded his head. Whatever had happened to these two had shook Jack to the core, Jacob realized.

"I will stay." Shayla said. Jack nodded his head at her in understand, she could help the Tok'ra but Jack had more important things on his mind.

The Tok'ra soon came back with the remote and the wormhole was established, Jack with Sam in his arms, as well as Jacob stepped through the gate.

"Get a medical team in here." Jack called.

Hammond from the control room, rushed down to greet them.

"Colonel O'Neill, what happened?" The bald man from Texas asked.

"Long story sir, can we get Sam looked at first? She's been through the a sarcophagus a few times and it's taken a toll on her." Jack said his eyes on Sam alone.

Hammond raised his eyebrow at the use of her first name but didn't comment on it. That could be saved for later.

The medical team rushed in and Jack gently set her on the ramp. Doctor Janet Fraiser rushed up to Sam, checked her vitals and then put her on the gurney.

"Colonel, what happened?" She inquired.

"We were captured by Ba'al, he killed her over and over and each time put her in the Sarcophagus." Jack said not even bothering to keep the anguish from his voice.

"Alright, let's get her to the infirmary." She said.

"Colonel, I want a full debriefing right now." Hammond told him.

"No sir." Jack said as he watched the medical team push Sam out of the gate room.

"No sir?" Hammond said incredulous.

"I have to stay with her." Jack said as he brushed by him. Hammond stood next to Jacob and watched him leave.

*****

Jack stayed by her side for hours. Didn't leave her side for more then five minutes. He needed to be there when she woke up, as much for her benefit as his own. Jonas and Teal'c stopped by as well, but they sensed that Jack wanted to be with her, and so each time they left.

She should have waken up by now Jack thought. Why the hell wouldn't she wake up? He needed her right now. Needed to make sure she was okay. Needed her to smile at him and needed to hear his name on her lips. But she wouldn't. She wouldn't wake up and it was breaking Jack's heart all over again. They were home and they were safe. He couldn't lose her now, not after all they had been through.

Hammond walked into the infirmary and went to Jack.

"Colonel I want to know what the damn hell happened. We need to talk in my office now." He said firmly.

"I can't leave her, General." Jack whispered.

"Doctor Fraiser will tell us if she wakes up in your absence son." Hammond told him.

"She's a valuable member of my team sir…I need to be here with her."

Hammond sighed. He wasn't sure what was going on but he'd let it go this once. "Fine. Now tell me what happened."

Jack ran through it. Leaving out the part about Ba'al using their love against them. He didn't need to know that, at least not right now.

"Thanks you Colonel. Jonas and Teal'c realized what was going on, and Lord Yu attacked the base." Hammond informed him.

Jack remained silent.

"I'll leave you with her son." He said as he placed his hand on Jack's shoulder and left. Hammond still hadn't concluded what had happened to Colonel O'Neill and Jack's 2IC but Hammond knew that things weren't going to be the same anymore.

Hammond went to his officer and a short while later was updated on Major Carter's status by Doctor Fraiser. After she was done she turned to go but Hammond stopped her.

"Doctor, how's Colonel O'Neill?" He asked.

"Physically he's fine sir, but I'm concerned for his emotional well being." She said honestly.

Hammond nodded his head. "Can you tell me anything about his attachment to Major Carter?"

The Doctor thought a moment before responding. "Well sir when two people go through trauma like that, a bond is normally formed and I think this is the case."

"Thank you doctor." Hammond said dismissing her.

"Sir, if I may, he hasn't left her side this whole time. After this is all done…I'm not sure if their going to be able to work together."

Hammond nodded his head, he figured that. The doctor sighed and left, leaving Hammond alone with his thoughts.

*****

Jacob went to visit his daughter and wasn't surprised to find Jack by his side. He silently walked up to Jack sitting on the side of the bed and looked at Sam. Both men loved this woman. One was a father to her and the other was everything to her.

"Jack, this probably isn't the right time to talk of this but what are you going to do about this?" Jacob asked him.

"About?" He said.

"What are your feelings towards my daughter?"

"I love her." Jack whispered.

Jacob had read that in his eyes but it shocked him to hear it out loud. This man loved his daughter. He wasn't supposed to, he couldn't Jacob thought. Jack knew the rules, he wasn't allowed to love anyone under his command. He also had a pretty good feeling that his daughter felt the same way towards Jack. And it broke Jacob's heart knowing that for all Jack's flaws he could make her happy, but it wasn't allowed.

"You can't let it interfere." Jacob whispered to him.

"It already has." Jack admitted.

"What do you mean?"

"The symbiote, Kanan, when he blended with me, he sensed the love I felt for her and because of that he went after Shayla because of that he went back for her. And Ba'al realized that to extract the information he used Sam knowing that the best way to punish me was to hurt her." Jack said, his eyes filling with tears.

"What are you going to do now?" Jacob asked.

Jack remained silent.

"Your not going to be the same, SG-1…" Jacob said trailing off.

"I know."

"If she loves you and I'm suspecting she does, you two can't serve under the same command anymore. And Jack…I know you can make my little girl happy." Jacob said choking up.

Jack nodded his head. As much as he didn't understand why he could make Sam happy, he knew he could. They loved each other more then anything else, the could make it work.

"I'll retire." Jack said suddenly.

*****

A next day Sam woke up surrounded by SG-1, her Dad, the General and the Doctor and the first word, unsurprisingly was 'Jack.'

The following weeks were hard, but Sam soon recovered fully. A fork was made in her life now though. She could choose to conceal her feelings for her CO…or she could, well to be honest she wasn't sure what she really could do. Jack had been by her side the whole time, never once leaving but they hadn't talked about their feelings. She was afraid that they were just going to leave them in that cell, like they had done two years ago when they had left them in that damn room.

She didn't want that now, though. Jack was everything to her and she needed him in her life as more then a CO. She learned an unexpected lesson during her ordeal, that life was short and was precious and she refused to wait to be with Jack. All these years of waiting, she didn't want to lose anymore time.

A knock sounded at the door to her quarters.

"Come in." She said.

Jack walked in and closed the door behind her. He walked up to her and stood in front of her as she sat on the bed. He leaned down and gave her a bear bug.

She sighed as she buried her head in his neck. She missed being here in this man's arms. Nothing had felt more right to her.

"I have something for you." He said as he broke the hug and handed her the papers that he had in his hand.

Sam gave him a confused look and looked at the papers in her hand. She sucked in a breathe when she realized what they were. Resigning papers.

"What?" She said confused.

"I'm retiring Sam." He told her.

"But…" Sam started to say but Jack interrupted her.

"No buts Sam. I want this." Jack told her sincerely.

"Your needed here." Sam said.

"General Hammond granted my request and he said that I could work here as a civilian. Your going to be in charge of SG-1." Jack told her a small smile on his face.

"Jack…But why?"

"So that you and I can have a life together." Jack said as he pulled her to her feet and wrapped his arms around her waist. She stayed willing in his arms.

Sam swallowed and remained silent, to stunned to believe that this was actually happened. Happiness filled her heart.

Jack though misinterpreted her silence. Maybe the words she had said to him had just been because she was dying. Maybe she didn't love him after all There was a good possibility that she didn't want this. It broke his heart but he dropped his arms and took a step back.

He cleared his throat and said "Unless of course you don't want a life with me…" His words were interrupted as her lips pressed against his and her arms went around his neck.

"Jack…I want this. I want this so much." Sam whispered as she broke apart.

"Me too." Jack cleared his throat. He wasn't good with feelings but she needed to know this. "Sam…this was one of the easiest thing I've done in my life. Exploring the galaxy is great but it means absolutely nothing compared to you. You are everything to me and that's the only thing that matters." He said as he leaned down to kiss her again.

Neither of them were aware of their ascended friend that was watching them. The galaxy needed these two, but far more importantly these two needed each other. Without the other, they weren't themselves. It was like two lost missing pieces of a puzzle had finally come together at long last. The bad guys could still be defeated this way, but Daniel knew for a fact that after all that had happened to these two if they weren't together, the Goa'uld didn't stand a chance in hell of being defeated. Daniel looked at his two best friends one last time and then disappeared.

They were everything to the other and that was the beginning of everything.

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_Autho's Note- It's finished! There were two ways in my mind that I could have done this and I think I made the right call. Thank you all so much for reading this, I couldn't have made it without you! I'll cherish the reviews that I have received and I hope that I did this story justice! Thanks again for reading and let me know (as always) if you like it!_


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